Studies show habits and patterns begin as young as birth. Children learn by watching their parents and if parents play keep away from family, the children are alienated and learn how to stay away instead of coming up with solutions to keep family ties together.
Adults of Parent Alienation APA learn how to play keep away. They learn to find reasons to push people away or find reasons to stop belonging. Judging and fearful or being judged instead of simply loving.
If these children are left without examples of life as it could be, they would only know a way of competition and manipulation.
Relationships should have depth that include good days and bad days. Ups and downs are normal. Learning to love regardless of challenges, unconditional love.
Relationships could be made where families are not in limbo, but come up with creative solutions to finalize differences.
APA learn to ignore or only understand people who think alike instead of appreciating people regardless of their differences.
Families are made up of all sorts of uniqueness where no one is exactly the same. The world is made up of differences.
APA as children were taught to separate and segregate depending on what they believe as not good enough. In reality, it’s only different not incorrect.
This false sense of irrational judgment blurs reality and how to create boundaries where intuition is second guessed. This could challenge their real judgement where they end up giving up too quickly or not quick enough.
The largest issue is that they can learn to follow in the footsteps of their alienating parent and the circle repeats itself.
Know that this alienation includes other symptoms of bribing to do what you want them to do or even nagging to behave a certain way.
Children in this case should be allowed to make decisions on their own and try new things and meet new people. They should have practice making their own decisions and become independent thinkers, not feeling as if they need to always look to their parents for approval. Without this practice, children will only trust their parents and not their spouse, if not given the chance to do otherwise.
Genesis 2:24 ESV says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
If you know you are facing an alienator or a spouse who only trusts their parents, your best option is to discuss the opposite with your children and include others in making decisions.
Let your children see how it can be done. Monkey see monkey do is your strongest weapon.
During this time you have the opportunity to show your children how mistakes can happen when working with others. Things may not always go as planned with group efforts. This allows them to see consequences and that everything is ok even when you let go of total control.
As for the APA, practice not secluding yourself and others. Enjoy life and anyone you find to be in it using healthy boundaries.