Do you feel guilty because you do not have enough time for your children? Between work and chores, do you get lost in the the daily routine of life? Does this guilty feeling keep you from your own pleasures?
Years and years of guilt has kept me from venturing into my own hobbies. Being that I’m a divorced mother sharing 50/50 custody with their father, I’ve always planned my hobbies when they were not with me, so I could spend every waking hour with them. As they get older, I’ve realized it’s not the minutes that matter, but how we spend them.
We do enjoy doing chores, projects, and hanging out together just watching a movie or going to events. Recently, I’ve added time where they visit friends and time for my hobbies. This independent time for us is necessary.
I need to show how I understand they are independent children and that I have things I want to do independently of them.
For example, I wanted to take a ceramics class which was held two weekends in a row. Before I realized that they would see this as freedom, I would have never taken the class. Now, I planned for them to enjoy time with friends while I expanded my talents.
If I make time for their hobbies and sports, I should do the same for me. This helps them understand that I am just as important. The hyrarchy of importance is a lesson in which I’m not sitting around awaiting their every desire.
Remember to take care of you! Have fun, excersize, fulfill your dreams. You’ll be better for doing so. No regrets. No blame. You need to love yourself in order to love that every waking hour.